(no subject)

[orbitalocularit.livejournal.com]

What Good Is Hookin' If You Ain't Lookin...
at my bags, not my tits, slut.

I made bags. And was smart enough to omit the pricing this time!! You crafty ladies can't get rid of me! HA!



You're too cool for school and everyone should know it. Risk getting expelled your senior year and pick up one of these sassy sluts to ride the bus with you every day. Her hair is pink (and sparkly), but she is way cooler than the really butch pop star Pink I wouldn't lie. The bag reads: Too cool for school.



Bitch, you thought the Bang'n Pink Holdup Number was tough, check out this really un-stupid sequel. I call this, the "Reverse Bang'n Minus The 'Bang' Holdup Number 2." You can just call it "hot as fuck." I am satisfied either way.





As if you needed a bag to tell you that your man's feet smell like Fritos and Swiss cheese... But in case you do need a reminder, buy this bag and make a call to Dr. Scholls a.s.a.p. Her hair is red and sparkly. Her pubes are not. The bag says, "Boys smell." Why? Because they do.



Bullies are cool. Bullies with black hair, slightly cooler. Saying "Gimme all your lunch money?" Maximus coolage. Using the word "coolage" in a sentence...LAME. If I need to spell out the following, shoot me with a b.b. gun, please. Her hair is black. Because she is tough and metal. The bag reads: Gimme all your lunch money. Yeah!!! If you don't prefer tough metal slut, just replace "emo" for "metal" and "sensitive" for "tough."



I like the strong, silent type. And I hear you do too. This bitch's lips are sealed. Ooh, remember Seal? Did he get burned or was he born that way? I never knew? Anyway, this girl is pretty. She has black hair because all her friends like The Strokes and she was told this was cool. It's ultra cool if you like The Strokes, have black hair, and carry this bag. It will get you laid.


T-SHIRTS COMING SOON.
(Psh, “coming soon,” that‘s what they all say).