Some Advice Needed

[leopardwolf.livejournal.com]

This is a little off subject, but I am in need of some advice on my current situation. I would greatly appreciate it if you all would take a chance to read and tell me what you think. Especially if you or someone you know has experienced similar issues. I am cutting that part of this entry so no one is forced to read it. I would be very thankful for some feedback though, as I am at a loss as to what I should do.


Alright.  Something I have to take the time to get off of my chest because it is something that's been drug out way too long and I need some opinions on the situation at hand.  I will explain what's been going on.

  It all started I figure around Christmas, maybe a month before.  I met someone online who seemed very nice and I started talking with her.  One day somehow in conversation I made the comment that I made jewelry. She asked if she could see some.  So I showed her examples.

  She loved it basically and asked if I could do some custom pieces for her.  I said sure.  She wanted these pieces for Christmas.  One for her mother and one for her girlfriend.  I knew I'd have plenty of time to get the pieces finished and we agreed on prices and we agreed on how it would be mailed.

  I made it clear that I wasn't going to ship anything until I had received payment because she wanted to have it overnighted or next day delivered in time for Christmas so she could surprise the intended recipients of the necklaces.  So that settled I went and priced supplies and gave an estimate.  She agreed that it was beyond reasonable and I then went and took money out of pocket to pay for all the supplies to make the necklaces.

  I let her know as time passed the progress.  She was very thrilled when I showed her the finished pieces and said she loved them and couldn't wait to get them. I then reminded her that time was drawing close and if she wanted to be sure and get the pieces on time she had to get the payment to me ASAP.

  Originally it was $60 per necklace.  She said that she had the money, part of it from holiday money she'd been given, and part she was taking from her bank account. Supposedly her mother watches her account.  She told her mother she was taking out money to pay for presents, which was fine.  The only problem she ran in to is that her mother had seen some mention of me somehow and where I lived or somesuch.  She didn't want her mother knowing exactly what she was getting for Christmas.  So she decided to keep my direct address from showing, she would first send the money to what she called a trusted friend.  I trusted in her judgment.

  Needless to say Christmas drew closer and closer and still no payment.  I asked her and she said she would talk to the friend. The friend claimed something about sending the money.  I waited.  After Christmas I asked again. She bothered this friend and the friend said they would take it out of their own pocket then and send it my way.  Again I waited.  Nothing. So I finally asked what the deal with her and this friend was.

  Turns out this person was her ex.  And it turns out once they found out what the gifts were and who they were meant for, they probably pocketed that money and kept it for themselves with no intention of sending.  Because I never saw it.  Granted I give the benefit of the doubt maybe it got lost in the mail.

  Still we waited and nothing came. I asked and she said she would instead take the money out of her own account in that case and send it to me as a money order signed to me so that only I could cash it.  She also said that since I had waited for so long, months after the fact, she would send $200 total for my troubles and all.  I waited again.  I kept asking if she had sent it.  She had the excuses that things were hectic in her life for one reason or another.  I am patient and understanding.  I took her word for it and gave her the benefit of the doubt.

  Finally though I got tired of hearing "I'll send it in two weeks" as weeks turned into months.  To make a long story short she finally told me that since they had unexpected family expenses between a lotta shit happening, she'd ask her cousin to front her the money so she could pay me.  Supposedly she had sent it out.  I waited and saw nothing.  I asked again. She said she had gotten a 'return to sender' because she got the address wrong.  But she said she'd gotten it right back in the mail.

  That was at the beginning of last week.  And here it is the end of this week.  I know sometimes the mail can run very sloppy.  Shit happens.  However, I know when I sent those packages to CA it didn't take that long to get there even with holiday delays.  Secondly, my friend lypon's mother just sent me a check for a necklace.  She sent it out Monday.  It got here today, Thursday.  No problems, very quick. I in turn mailed her necklace out today and I hope very much she likes it.  I will consider that perhaps it is because they live closer to us that it got here so fast.  Again though, I see no reason why it should have taken this long for that payment to get here.  It doesn't make any sense and it has my gut turning in question.

  I spoke with her tonight, and this was the conversation:


  Me:  I hate to say this, but we need to have a little talk.

  Her:  speak freely.

  Me:  I've waited till here at the end of the week to see if the mail will come, and the mail you sent hasn't.  However, I did get mail from another friend of mine.  His mother saw one of my necklaces and sent a check to buy it.  The check was sent Monday and got here today.  So I'm really concerned with this whole situation in the light of the fact I did get that mail and it didn't take any time for it to get here.

Her:  ...that makes no sense.

Me:  Did you get another 'return to sender'?

Her:  no, I didn't... I'm wishing I had. It's not like I sent cash and could guess it was stolen, or sent it to another first. I hope it didn't get lost. That's be $300 lost on my part.

Me:  ::Grunts and thinks:: Did you put it in a regular envelope that could be seen through?  I mean, you guys get regular mail service, right?

Her:  yup.

Me:  I haven't got a clue then.  I mentioned it to some other people to see if they'd ever had this sort of problem and most of them said they'd have to wonder if you sent the money at all since it's drawn out so long.  So I explained what had happened and that I felt I could trust you to be honest.  I'm hoping it's just something stupid and the mail is delayed. =/  I mean, maybe it's because you live further away than my other friend and it has further to go.

Her:  let's hope, because this is getting very expensive.

Me:  Was it a money order written out to me or what?  Because if it was written to me I am hoping that means only I can sign for it and cash it. That's why I suggested shipping some way with a tracking number so we'd know where the damned thing was and not have this problem.

Her:  written out to you.

Me:  Hrrm.

Her:  ...we had kittens last night too, so I can't send money for atleast another 6 weeks, as I have to pay (cousin's name here) back as well.

Me:  Kittens!  Awwwwwws.  Kittens!  Mrrr.  Well, I have figured this.  I'm going to bring things up to the school within the next week or so and sell them.  I have had a number of people who were interested in the necklaces, but I told them they were custom made for someone.  I am going to hope that the money will come either tomorrow or next week at the beginning of the week.  If it hasn't come by the time that I go to sell some of my other jewelry, I plan to take these necklaces with me.  If someone buys them, they buy them.  I'll make another two necklaces for you when the money comes in.  I just can't imagine why it would take this long.  And I can't imagine that it keeps getting lost in the mail.  That just isn't right.


  I am not sure if she got that last IM simply because she suddenly signed off just after I had sent the first part of the IM and was continuing the sentence after "if someone buys them, " on to the next part.  She hasn't come back on tonight and I don't expect her to.

  But plain and simple like I stated in that IM and like I will tell her next time I see her on, if the money has not come by the time I go to sell stuff on campus, I am bringing the necklaces with me.  If someone is interested enough in them and wants to buy them, then buy they shall.  When she gets the money to me or if it shows up afterwards, I will gladly make her new necklaces.  I think this is very fair, all things considered.

  I certainly don't plan on just sending the necklaces out without payment.  I am beginning to wonder if she's trying to play on my guilt for feeling bad that things aren't going right.  I don't want her to think that I *have* been getting the money and just not saying so.  I would NEVER do that. It is just wrong and I couldn't live with myself.  I also suggested in the beginning that the payment be as a money order or cashier's check written out to me. I suggested she keep the receipt so she could show it if something happened, and also told her I thought there was a way you could check money orders to see if they'd been cashed.  Thus we would both be protected.  I further suggested she should mail it in a way it would have a tracking number, just so we would know where the damned thing is.

  I am tired of waiting and frankly now I am wondering if she ever sent the money to begin with, or is just hoping I will feel so bad I'll just send the necklaces.  I don't know, but I am rather fed up.  What do you guys think?  How would you feel in the same situation?  I don't know what to do.



Now with that said I would like to say that I am in the process of prepping for a large craft project involving some woodburning and hot glue goodness! I plan to cover the entire process with descriptions and pictures. So stay tuned and happy crafting till then!