craftgrrl | healing the source of creative block?

is there something to learn from creative blockages? is it something asking to be healed? as children we are incredibly creative beings, and it is our childhood that is the root of all of our significant interactions with ourselves and others.

today i have been doing all of this soul searching over creativity, childhood, and healing the artist within. this is what i came up with this morning:

"we can only find our balance by revisiting the paths of our childhood, connecting again with the things that inspired and enraptured us as well as the things that tore us away from those moments of clarity. you don't have to have had a perfect, or even good, childhood to remember the things your soul yearned for, the creative expressions that felt the most natural, the exuberance of imagination and fantasy.

some people have the gift of being able to tap into that and stay with their muse most if not all of their lives, becoming amazing artists of one capability or many. some struggle to quiet the critical voices of parents, friends, peers, and find a way to express themselves in even the smallest ways.

i have found as time goes on in my life and i look back at what i loved to do as a child, though i may not have seen the pattern during the between years, my soul's primary desires are apparent in what capabilites i have developed, while the things that didn't fit with that primary drive never got off the ground. it is these things which do not fit that so many feel forced to employ for their fundamental survival, crushing and shushing that inner creative voice; the crappy jobs in cubicles, the poor relationships with people who have no desire to grow. i believe this is the source of psychosis. we all crave that source on some level, and the further we deviate, the more we compromise, the crazier we feel.

i feel like i have been struggling to tap back into my creative drive and not allow myself to be distracted by all of the other things i feel need doing, including other creative projects. there are so many things i want to do, so many ideas, and i need to start one at a time. i can't read every book on my shelf all the way through simultaneously, or make a quilt and a dress and a afghan at the same time. but how much of this is a deeper block, that needs resolution on a deeper level? it's almost another form of psychosis. shit, maybe it's all psychosis. that would be a relief!

for me, those voices of criticism and abuse from childhood seem to really play a role in this block's existence, always thinking 'why bother? it will not be as good as *that person's*' or, 'it has been done and done better.' like all of those times i 'fucked up,' things that didn't have to be an ugly scene if my parent had been a patient or compassionate person, things i was hit for daily when i was a kid, are going to somehow come back if i fuck up again, so i should just have ideas and think about what i WANT to do but never do them, playing it safe, cause what is in my head can't be attacked if it never comes out.

creativity is a healing process. the more i let myself fuck up and get it wrong and do it over and actually have fun with that, the more i will return to my souls' original blueprint for this time around. i'm ready!!! really! so sick of this other shit! i want all of these ideas to come out of my frackin' brain and be in the world for better or for worse."

i realized after writing this that because i tend to sabatoge myself with all of these ideas and no place to start, i should start by working on the little things: mending hems, adding trims, fixing the bits. once all of the mending is done, i won't have *that* excuse anymore.

then i can move onto finishing the projects i started over varying degrees of time, or just get rid of them.

THEN, i can work on the new ideas and not be distracted by all the little things pulling my energy in different directions.

does that make sense? this block has been really long standing, and i am posting about it here because this community has been highly instrumental in the refiring of my creative impulses. i really find you all so wonderful and inspiring.

i don't know if this will work, but, it's worth a try, right?

how do you process and break through blockages? what are some of the issues you might have that you find hinder your ability to move forward with your dreams, however large or small they may be?