craftgrrl | (no subject)

Adam Human was given reign over the animals, and was told to give them all names so they might be kept separate. "Really?" he said. "Okay, hm, you can be Cow, and you can be Horse, and you can be Goat..." and so it went, and every animal was content with its new name. The Platypus chuckled at its naming, because it felt the name was quite appropriate, and the Pangolin curled up into a happy ball at its own.

Adam soon tired of the game, however, when he realized just how many kinds of animals there were. Lines of different Monkeys stood before him; "Uh, Capuchin I suppose. Howler. Proboscis."

"He's hardly trying anymore," the Howler Monkey said to the Proboscis Monkey, who just thought quietly to himself that the Howler Monkey perhaps should not have yelled right in Adam's face for fun.

(Not-so-) soon it was the small reptiles' turn. "Oh! Oh! We'll be up next," a particularly tiny Lizard said, dancing back and forth on his tiny sticky feet nervously in the row dedicated to Geckos. "I wonder what he will name us?"

"Don't get your hopes up," his friend Gecko said. "He just named that one 'Leopard Gecko' because it has spots! I mean, come on, we've already got enough Leopards to worry about. I'd really just rather keep the name I have. Bob is a nice name."

"Still," the first Gecko said excitedly. "I have so many amazing traits that might catch Adam's eye. My tail is shaped just like a leaf! My body is the color of mossy bark! My toes can stick to anything! My never-blinking eyes are red as the most precious rubies! And my adorable horns, who would not love those? Perhaps I will be a Ruby-Eyed Mossy Sticking Horned Leaftail Lizard!" And then it was his turn.

The excited little Lizard looked meaningfully up into Adam's face... and Adam screamed. "SATANIC GECKO! AUGH!" he said, and ran away.

Appalled, the now-named Satanic Gecko slunk off to his tree home.

His friends later found him disconsolately rocking back and forth on a branch, clutching a golden loop of wood which sat upon his head, quite like a halo. "I'm not THAT bad," he whimpered. "I'm good, I'm good, I swear, I'm good..."

It would be thousands of years until Shakespeare would come along and try to clear up the mess Adam made with the story about roses smelling as sweet by any other name.

Unfortunately for the Satanic Gecko and its progeny, Dumb trumps Wisdom every time.