(no subject)

[orbitalocularit.livejournal.com]

** You can ignore the prices if it is "illegal" in this community, I am lazy so I copied and pasted from my journal**

Since being a fag hag hasn't worked out so good for me, I've decided to pursue a more lucrative career in the fag bag industry. And by "industry," I mean shady back alley business operating from my meth lab.

Here's the skinny on the PHAT bags (ohhhh, my jokes slay me!)

-I make them.

-They are sorta ugly.

-And coincidentally, they are for sale.

-You can buy all of them for 10 bones and under. You can't even get good weed for that price! It's a steal ladies and gentlefags!


This shit’s Mafioso, playa. You, too, can be a mafia princess/thug/Center City Rapist with this “BANGin” pink hold-up number I like to call, “The BANGin Pink Hold-Up Number!” It’ll cost ya 6 bones though, don’t trip. (6 bones in the language of the lay = $6.00.)


And to think...you thought you would never be able to get in my panties. Here’s your chance...strike while the iron is hot, or before my dick goes limp. A night in Nicole’s draws will only cost you 10 beaners!! 10 fucking greenbacks to “fill up” my draws. Do it. Either that or pay me never to illustrate that gruesome image again. ($10.00)




Who doesn’t wanna have a nice big broad shouldered ho hangin’ off their arm? Everyone needs a thicky thick thick girl with good fashion sense once in a blue minute (blue moon? hot minute? fuck it) so instead of fucking that big bitch on the bus in acid wash and lycra, hang with this little lady and like...look way cute! A lifetime of lap dances and spaciousness will cost ya 10 bucks. ($10.00 for the illiterate)


Dude, dirty hippie sluts with flowers in the hair are really big right now. They are the thugged out broads of the 2000’s and they don’t shave their bushes...HOT! Get your flower girl on right now before “girls with flowers in the hair” turns into “sluts with coke on their nose.” You know how trends work. 6 fucking bananas to stick your banana in this bag...and by “banana,” I mean “cock.” But I don’t think I had to make that any clearer. ($6.00).


This is the clearance section. This is the only bag in the clearance section. This bag looks like a retard getting a blowjob spray painted it. And for that, this bag will only cost you 6 dollars. Yes, that’s right...you can get a reject (like All American) bag just like the non-rejected pink BANG bag for the same price...I should be a religious leader...I can make anything sound reasonable. HOLLA! ($6.00)

The Fine Print: Get at me dogssss if you wanna really buy them. If no one does, I will be putting these jawns on Ebay like soon. Also, I can make custom sheeat too, so don’t trip if you don’t like these. I have no life at all now so this is what I do...bags and ‘bation alllll day e’ry day.